I suppose its best to start at the beginning. That's not necessarily always the truth, but where else to start?
In the beginning, God was hammered on cheap vodka and decided to try out his new six shooter. Fortunately for us, he tried it out on his collection of infinitesimally small points which contained the simplest form of matter. The point exploded out in all directions, traveling at the speed of light, if not faster. Needless to say, God didn't make it. But some of us just can't let go.
So on and on time went, and there is no way for me to cover it all here. Here are some key points in the last 4.5 billions years of Earth's history, as pertain to its "dominant" life form of this era.
-Fish-Fucking gave way to Reptile-and-Bird-Fucking, and then a mysterious something happened that propelled Mammal-Fucking through the Fucking roof!
-The Monolith taught a group of monkeys how to kill other monkeys with tools for their benefit. This phenomenon still occurs to this day.
-Charlton Heston talked to a burning bush (I want some of what he's having, yuk yuk) and freed the Jews from Egypt's slavery using WIZARDRY!
-Albert Einstein was born in Australia and invented the electric guitar? What?! Why the hell are Marie Curie and Charles Darwin in this?! This is the worst movie I've ever seen!
-The United States saved everybody from Nazis in WWII and Commies in the Cold War, thus acting as though it deserved everything.
Okay, that's enough for now. If you want to know more, read a book for Christ's sake. Now where were we going with this...
You: We're waiting for Godot.
Me: Ah! You're sure it was here?
You: What?
Me: That we were to wait.
You: He said by the tree. Do you see any others?
Me: People are bloody ignorant apes...
Beware! Existentialist Propoganda Here!
